


love lifts us

by beautifullights



Series: everyone has scars [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Explanations, Fix-It, Fluff, Gen, M/M, TLJ Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 22:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13063398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifullights/pseuds/beautifullights
Summary: “Wait a sec,” Poe squinted at Finn in the dim light of their bunk. “You flew the shuttle to Canto Bight? You’re not a pilot. You don’t know how to fly.”“Well,” Finn said, “you know, I mean, flying TIE fighters is very different from flying dinky little shuttles."“Uh-huh. Yeah. It’s actually a little harder, in some ways. TIEs do a lot of the autopiloting for you and aren’t nearly as likely to break down as a Rebellion-era jalopy.”“Yeah,” Finn laughed, “the shuttle did break down. Three times. Rose fixed it, though, every time. She’s good like that.”“You’re still dodging my question,” Poe said.





	love lifts us

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I've seen TLJ twice now and I swear Finn's flying the shuttle. That makes about as little sense as the rest of TLJ, which is probably going to be revealed in Episode IX as Finn's anxiety dream while he was in a healing coma. So I went back in time and fixed it. 
> 
> *hand waves* Don't worry about how this fits into canon or this fic series. It just does. 
> 
> Warning for brief references to torture and similarly brief past self-sacrifice/_ plans. Mostly fluff. 
> 
> _I once asked a bird_  
>  _"How is it that you fly_  
>  _in this gravity of darkness?"_  
>  _She responded,_  
>  _"Love lifts me."_  
>  — Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky)

“Wait a sec,” Poe squinted at Finn in the dim light of their bunk.  _ “You  _ flew the shuttle to Canto Bight? You’re not a pilot. You don’t know how to fly.”

“Well,” Finn said, “you know, I mean, flying TIE fighters is very different from flying dinky little shuttles.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah. It’s actually a little harder, in some ways. TIEs do a lot of the autopiloting for you and aren’t nearly as likely to break down as a Rebellion-era jalopy.” 

“Yeah,” Finn laughed, “the shuttle did break down. Three times. Rose fixed it, though, every time. She’s good like that.”

“You’re dodging the question,” Poe said. 

“Am not,” Finn said. 

“Rose couldn’t have taught you how to fly,” Poe said, “you’d only woken up a few hours earlier. And there wasn’t time on D’Qar for anyone to teach you, we shipped out as soon as we had a plan to take down Starkiller.”

“I…” Finn stopped. 

“You didn’t need a pilot,” Poe said, eyes locked on Finn’s. “You knew how to fly.”

“But—but I needed someone who knew how to get to the Resistance,” Finn said. “I had no idea where you guys were stationed.”

“Well, yeah, but—no. Wait a sec. Cut the bullshit. You didn’t want to join the Resistance at first. You were going to hide out in the Outer Rim.”

Finn looked down at his hands. “Yeah,” he said. 

“So…you sprang me out of there just to—to save me.” 

A smile tugged at the corner of Finn’s mouth. “I  _ told _ you I was doing it because it was the right thing to do,” he said. 

“Sure sounded like a lie,” Poe said. 

“Yeah. Well. How many times do you think I’d ever said that before?”

Poe touched Finn’s hand hesitantly, like he was a whisper bird about to leap into the trees. “Then why’d you change your story?” he asked. “Why’d you agree with me that you just needed a pilot?”

“You’d never have believed me otherwise. Easier to believe that I was using you.”

“Well…yeah. Um. That’s fair, I guess. So you—” Poe laughed in wonder. “You really were just rescuing me.”

“No,” Finn said, smile gone. “I was killing you.”

Poe blinked at Finn.

Finn spread his hands. “What did you think my plan was?” he asked. “TIEs don’t have a hyperdrive. We would never have gotten out of the system. And to be honest, you didn’t look like you’d be able to stay conscious for another ten minutes, let alone take out the cannons. They would have shot us down in seconds.”

“What,” Poe said, “the fuck.”

“You said—” Finn swallowed. “They were going to kill you. Because Kylo had gotten his information.”

Poe’s jaw clenched. 

“Kill you? An enemy officer, with a security clearance high enough to hold some key secrets? No fucking way.” Finn surged up and paced the length of their small room, hands shaking with remembered nerves. “They would never have stopped torturing you. Whatever it took. Fists, drugs, shocks, Kylo. They'd have healed you just enough to keep you alive. Until you’d given up everything you possibly could and they’d crushed the Resistance.”

He turned back to find Poe sitting tensely on his bed, hands white-knuckled around his stylus, looking faintly green around the edges. 

Finn sank onto the bed beside Poe and touched the back of his hands. “And they were going to recondition me,” he rasped. “I couldn’t—I couldn’t let them do that.”

Poe met Finn’s gaze, eyes wide and unblinking. 

“So,” Finn said, unnerved by Poe’s silence. “I thought—”

“You’d give me an honorable death,” Poe rasped. 

Finn nodded, throat too tight to speak. 

“And then you would—” Poe flung his arms around Finn. “Fuck,” he whispered into Finn’s shoulder. “Fuck.”

“Yup,” Finn’s arms tightened around Poe. “That about sums it up.”

“Thank you,” Poe whispered.  _ “Thank  _ you, Finn, I—I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry you—you had to—oh, fuck.” 

Finn buried his face in Poe’s shoulder and closed his eyes. 

“I owe you,” Poe murmured. “I owe you so much.”

“No,” Finn said, “you don’t—”

“I do. I always knew I owed you my life, but this is—you are—you saved the Resistance. Before even joining.” Poe laughed a little, voice unsteady. “Fuckin’ overachiever, man. Right from the start.”

“Go big or go home, right? Isn’t that what Jess always says? And I don’t have a home, so—yes, okay, I know, you’re very sweet, but the Resistance is a war base, not a home.”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. But you—you could have a place here, you know. If you want.”

“I know,” Finn said. “I’ve talked with Intelligence.”

“That’s great,” Poe said, “I mean, we really need your information, but, you know, you can choose now. Do what you want to do.”

“Where are you going with this, Dameron?”

“What do you think about joining a squadron here? Once we get you up to speed on an X-wing.”

Finn blinked at Poe, eyes bright with wonder. “I,” he said. “I would love that.”

Poe took a quick breath, as though about to say something, then shook himself a little. “Good,” he said. “Good. That’s, ah. That’s great. Um. If you ever want, you know, a sim coach, someone who can show you a few tips and tricks for flying X-wings, just hit me up, okay?”

“Thank you,” Finn said, lips twitching against a smile. 

“What?” Poe asked. 

“Nothing.” Finn bit his lip harder. 

“Buddy.” 

“It’s just—it’s just—” Finn toppled back onto the bed, shaking with laughter. 

“Finn,” Poe said. “Finn! Are you okay? Finn, buddy. Did I break you? Shit. I broke Finn. Oh, fuck. Now what? You don’t have a reset switch, do you? Finn! Buddy! Breathe, pal.”

“You,” Finn tried, and collapsed back in another peal of laughter. 

Poe patted Finn’s arm in a futile attempt to soothe him. “Do I have something on my nose? I have something on my nose, don’t I? Engine grease again? Dammit, why didn’t BB-8 warn me?” He scrubbed at his nose with his sleeve. 

“You—” Finn pushed himself upright—and really close to Poe, whoa, those were—wow. Poe’s eyes. Uh. “Now  _ you’re _ the one who needs a pilot,” he managed, and dissolved again into helpless laughter. 

“Sounds like I’ve always needed a pilot, huh?” Poe said softly, looking down at Finn. 

“Well—” Finn cocked an eyebrow up at Poe. “You’ve got one.”

“I do, huh.” Poe’s entire face crinkled into a smile. “I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and concrits always appreciated! If you like what you see, there's plenty more like it in the rest of the series, esp [you promise me, my life](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6051894/chapters/13874562) and [Fly Home to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7087519/chapters/16109356). 
> 
> <3 you all.


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